Something for the Weekend, Sir? Those files I promised you? Oh, I'm sorry, they accidentally got taken out with the recycling. A gull swooped down and snatched them out of my hands. They were lost in a tsunami. No, a forest fire. An earthquake. Actually, to tell the truth, my mum put them in the washing machine.
This is making me feel queasy. My health isn't in question*. I've simply missed another work deadline and inventing a plausible excuse that I haven't used recently is making my head spin. You'd think all that "the dog ate my homework" business would end when you left school but oh no, here I am still doing it a generation and a half later.
You want me to do WHAT in that prepaid envelope?
million stolen french medical records drowned feeble excuses
